Tuesday, June 30, 2009

whats up universe

So I have to keep reminding myself that the universe always sends me a little challenge before I head off, or right at the beginning on my trip, to make sure I really want to go. Well, this one sure is a big one. I am having trouble finding a Sublette for my apt, leaving me responsible for $ 1000 of rent, my bike needs $200+ of work (and $200+ of work that I am ignoring until I return or desperately need it) and some of the camping/bike touring equipment I need for this trip is HELLA expensive. But I guess this is why I saved my money all year. I am waiting for the universe to remind me that everything is connected and its all goooood.

I am leaving this city on Thursday whether I am ready to go or not, but I would sure like to get a few more things done!

Anyway, in between running all over town to find specific (and expensive) bike parts, doing a million internet things and sublette things, I have been doodling around with map quest, here is my intended route. I don’t have Missoula on there, but I have friends there I would like to see, so I am gunna see how things go.

Monday, June 29, 2009

The First Intention

The First Intention

Many experiences in this world can be seen as journeys. Often sitting still for 5 minutes is a journey, a trip to the super market, especially in this city, can be a journey of its own, a story we hear is often a journey-like experience, and the most common journey is the one we set out on with great intention, physical separation from the regular, and as opportunity for exploration, experimentation, and the culmination of everything that is everything.

I am about to set out on a journey that transforms location, responsibility, and experience. Far too often in this city, I compromise my wants, needs, and experiences in order to flow with the breaths of a landscape of beautiful, fun, busy people. In that I ignore the low murmur of a tired body, a sad soul, or a frightened child wanting to be held and nurtured. As I do my best to visit with all of those things, I am still distracted by those that look like me, the temptations of abundance and indulgence.

As I depart this concrete jungle, laced with trees and parks, filled with eyes and souls, I aim for nature, natural, loud murmurs usually un heard. In the past when I have left (or gone) with this intention, I have often met negativity, pain, loneliness, the desire to run. This time, as is true with each new time, I hope to be more accustomed to my own needs, fears, and habits, so that I can greet each feeling of struggle with the nurturing I need in the city. To develop that self care that seems only possible when I view myself as myself, instead of an entity of one community.

I set this intention 2 weeks before departure. Without any idea of what I am about to face. This time, unlike all other times (maybe?) I have set up comforts for myself that I have not previously allowed myself. Often I would do things that made me feel comfortable but would do them with guilt and rush. This time, I will do them with acceptance. Hotels, internet, resting time, yoga, self-love, relaxation when necessary. I will do these things with love and acceptance. Instead of just rushing to the part that is different from my life right now.

In my recent past I have been laced with sadness and loneliness in places full of friends, literally full of my friends, people I have been able to connect with, remember and greet on the street. So why this continual loneliness, what am I missing? What is not calling to me? What am I not calling to? On this quest I hope to spend more time with the inner voice, to discover what I need in order to develop myself into happiness and strength. So, my goal, amongst other things is to fulfill my curiosities, my relationships, and my SELF with wholeness.

The First Request

Hey friends,

To those of you who never got the ALC update, I apologize, to those of you whom have already heard it, keep on scrolling to the next paragraph. The fundraiser at El Rio was a huge success, and I couldn’t have done it without you, the folks who came out, the wonderful friends who donated so much of their time and resources, and the performers, Thank you. The money raised went to a great cause, and the ride was a phenomenal experience. I have continued to find my passion for cycling, and it only gets better to do with a huge community working for a great cause!

I am headed out of SF for an adventure across country for the next two months. Unfortunately my sublet that I had lined up for the next two months bailed on me on Saturday and I am trying to leave town on Thursday, July 2nd. I’m scrambling to get a ton of things done before my adventure so this is a call to all of you, my family, friends, and community to see if you can help me with any of these things. If you cant, not a single worry, it just seems to make since to ask before I go, here's what I am looking for in life over the next week:

A Sublette (or collection of Sublette’s, I have one person who needs it just for the month of July, and someone else who just needs it for July 15-Aug15, so filling in some of the gaps) to cover my rent of 1030 from July 2-aug 31st.

A camping stove (either car or back packing or both), or any other kitchen camping supplies

Bike touring stuff, panniers, racks, tools, and a tune up. (I am planning on bike touring the big national parks in between here and Virginia!)

Info: anything, any free camping(blm land), any one, any adventure you know about anywhere between here and Virginia (via the northern route). During my journey I will be studying bike touring, health, communication, music, culture, rivers, and solitude. I can’t wait, but also have lots of nerves too:) check out my blog for more details on where I am headed!

Smiles, safe travel wishes, and random phone calls while I am away to remember how awesome my community is:)

I know I am embarking on a journey of great privilege, and so I'm grateful for these challenges that remind me that if my biggest worries are finding a sub-letter and a camping stove so I can tour the country, I'm doing ok. I also fully believe that everything will work out fine, but gotta ask for help when I need it.

I will attempt to keep a blog while I journey, a personal collection of thoughts and experiences often painted with words of feelings and emotions. In the past I have sent out regular e mail that includes my blog like updates, I’m hesitant to use the same e mail list from years ago, so I will gladly create a new one, or just direct you to my most recent blog, http://apothocurious.blogspot.com/. my postings are never simply a statement, always a conversation or question. I hope you all enjoy. I go with the intention of self-discovery, facing the demons inside of myself, and proving a personal philosophy that "it can be done."