Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Hello friends and family,

As I write to you, I prepare to depart from my luxurious family stop in Minneapolis and head out for my final solo leg of the trip. Today is July 27th and I am attending a festival on August the 2nd, so that gives me about 5 nights on the solo road again. I am excited for this time. After the festival I have friend dates, weddings, parent visits, and I just bought my plane ticket back to SF (Aug 27th!), so I will be social social social!

My time in MN was great, i had a sweet beach spot on the lake for tenting, a family to watch movies with, and conversations to remind me of where I am headed. Now I going! I am hoping this will continue to be a positive, self strengthen journey, full of joy, accomplishment and safety, but I also feel like I should just let go of all of that and just see what comes.

So many thoughts, feelings, memories, realizations, come and go all of the time. I have these “insights” of how things can be, are, or are changing, and then I forget them. Sometimes they are able to calm me, help me be present, other times they are powerful, but dissolve after their appearance. But aren’t those the moments of life we find to be the most amazing? I suppose they often come after hard work or suffering. I can’t wait, I can’t force it, though I am grateful for them for sure.

Anyways, I’m off to see what comes, hoping to find my energy, explore myself, and see the UP (upper peninsula of Michigan)

I try to remember, and it’s difficult because it’s not what I want to hear, that often these trips are most powerful in reflection. But as I work on having 2020 foresight (by reflecting on my 2020 hindsight) I am frustrated by ability to be present, but I bet that doesn’t help me get there any faster, ha!

I have been thinking a lot about dreams, reality, and imagination. How we live, how we wanna live, how we can live. How I live, how I wanna live and how I can live. Gratitude, (or my lack there of sometimes), sharing, being special, responsibility, strangers, energy, chemistry, lack of fulfillment, happiness, exploration, and about a million other things. What are you dreaming about?

Pictures: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2354178&id=12301287&l=aadd6d87d2


1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNF0v4l0l2c
1: movie from yellow stone of a small steam hole

2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p53bedxm7w
2: a 20 second experience of what it is like to ride in my car

3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTeJ1GotOpQ
3: an accidental video that i have included anyway.

Monday, July 27, 2009

where i have really been

Hey everyone

with a lazy morning comes lazy computer time. i updated my route map. here is every where i have been. i would love to add details to each spot, but i just do not have the technological patience to do it, sorry:) pictures will be uploaded today too! i can invite you to my google map page if you are in love with maps like me and want to see which high ways i took, i have enough patience to do that. back roads whenever possible!

and this is where i am headed:)

Time to get real

Time to get real. And how do we do that? We talk about FOOD! Visiting Minneapolis has been a tour of friends, lakes and FOOD!. Without a really good cooling system, which a lazy cooler doesn’t suffice, I have had limited meat consumption. Have no fear, I have made up for it in this town! Japanese bbq, Michael Jackson tribute bbq and the dinner I shared with my buddies last night, I am sitting in protein heaven right now:)

While discussing my route with my wonderful friend Cassidy, we arranged to meet in Minneapolis to visit her family along the way. Two other friends were able to join in the weekend fun as well. After a tour of the city’s lakes and rooftop bars, we ventured to this amazing restaurant. There was a special deal; any salad and entrĂ©e for $19. Most of their entrees were well over $23, and they had ever reason to be. The restaurant was a very innovative, well thought out, gourmet spot that did it right! Everyone had the arugula salad, which has baby fennel, an orange puree, ginger sauce and a piece of grapefruit, that I didn’t hate. For the entrees; I order the venison, accompanied by cherries, a chocolate sauce, some sort of noodle delight, and peanuts, Ben had the lamb roast, Morgan the Halibut, and Cassidy the Duck. I am grateful for friends who do not mind sharing bites, because everyone’s food was unbelievable! I have been grazing on peanut butter, broccoli and bread and cheese for the past month, so this weekend has been such a wonderful treat of good eats! Thank you Minneapolis!

I have taken up shop on The Favor Family’s’ Volley ball court which is on the edge of the lake. It makes for beautiful sunsets, sunrises, and great nights sleep. I am grateful for the hospitality and fun this family has provided me!

This trip has been broken down into sections. Each time I pause from the solitude section, I am grateful for family or friends who allow me to clean up, connect with folks far away, and prepare for my next leg of the trip!

From here I am off on my last solo trip. I am venturing up to the upper peninsula of Michigan. I am not too sure what I will find. I have scoped two amazing national sea shores that I would like to check out, so I imagine that is in the cards, but am afraid they might be pretty busy!

I am kind of hoping to find a spot to stay for most of the week, but want to enjoy the last moments of being solo. So if anyone knows of a spot where I can set up shop and hang for a minute with my guitar and clean water, maybe even a cabin in the woods, let me know!


Saturday, July 25, 2009

pre brief

So last night when I arrived in Minnesota I wrote a summary of my week long journey in the woods. It was wild to attempt to recap all of the things, people, and thoughts that I have intersected with along my path. This is a wild journey, and it is always so shocking to come back to reality with my feet on the ground and friends and family around me.

I have been spending so many days driving in the car, looking around me, on the country roads, feeling the towns. I cant wait to do this by bicycle! I think I will post the long detailed posting, but don’t feel obligated to pick up every detail. This post is just details, I’m waiting for the bulk of the feelings, goals, and future production to come out.

Something I didn’t mention was that yesterdays drive was spent mostly thinking about pate, I cant wait for access to a kitchen to my my apothocurious dreams come true.

Here are the details. Soon coming are some reflections.

landing on land

Well well well friends. I seem to have landed yet again, someplace warm, with a soft bed, and my feet back on the ground. I am excited for a shower, laundry, and a few days of perishable food, specifically the kind that isn’t perishing due to adequate fridgeration systems☺

Where to begin, I don’t even know. I feel like the place where I left off left so many stories untold, and here I am again, faced with the opportunity to share. I guess I should warm up at first.

So I left Bozeman and headed to Yellow Stone. It took me about an hour to reach the park. Fearing crowds, lines, and traffic, I attempted to calm myself and just flow with the park. The first stop was the boiling river. A little secret near the north part of the park where two rivers, one hot, one cold, meet and baths have been formed from rocks so that soaking is ever so delightful. This was a wonderful treat. A great opportunity to get my head back into the traveling game after a few days of city living. I spent the whole day nervous I was getting seriously ill, so I ate vegetables, meditated, and tried to be gentle with myself. A very tricky thing to do in an over populated volcano. Along one of the shorts trails I decided to venture down I met a woman named Vicky. As fate would have it, she was on her geological field study in yellow stone and was able to give me a very detailed and individual geology lesson, flavored with a little astronomy too! I am very grateful for this woman sharing so much of her time, knowledge and passion with me. I find it easiest to take in information in a one-on-one conversation.

Once I had my fill of Yellow Stone I decided to head south to the Grand Tetons hoping to find some less populated space. I ended up squatting on a camping spot with a mother and daughter duo that was on an adventure from Nevada. The daughter had spent 20 years in SF and just moved to Nevada to kick it with her mom. Needless to say we shared hours of getting to know you conversation. They took off the next day and I maintained the home land, but hit the trail. This time on bike. I did a 50 mi bike ride through the Tetons. The roads are pleasantly rolling, but I was mentally and physically out of cycling shape so it was a challenge. That evening the campground filled up again. A Swiss family who arrived late was searching for a fire to cook their banana dessert. It was a beautiful camp fire with three adorable kids playing games, eating marshmallows and shyly sharing the few words of English that they knew.

The next day I headed for the Bad Lands in South Dakota. I have fallen in love with back roads, and have begun taking my time along them. With the sunny days, comfortable window weather, and cruise control I have become quite accustomed to 10+ hours of “driving.” Driving is in parenthesis because I do plenty of stopping as well:)

I made it to Mt. Rushmore, meetting tons of people along the way, saw the site from the road (meh) and made it to a camp ground with enough time to jump into the pool (swim in body of water each day, check) and set up my tent in order to pass out from a 13+ hour driving day.

The next day I woke up and headed to the park. It was a scorching 98 degree day, and I was feeling mighty tired from my previous day’s drive. Once I finally got myself to go climb up one of the hills, I was lucky to meet two friendly Canadian travels on a similar mission, have fun without getting dehydrated. We proceeded to wander the valleys and scramble up the mountains. After a while we decided to search for submergible water and cold ice cream. Success was had. After many logistically confusions and what not I decided to hit the road to get a jump on the drive to Minneapolis the next day. I spent the night in a small park in Fort Pierre. The town right outside of the town Pierre, which is the capital of South Dakota(!) I was awoken early by the automatic sprinklers, apparently I wasn’t really in the designated camping spot. After enjoying some of my novel and waiting for my stuff to dry I hit the road with Cassidy’s house on my brain (and the pre-mentioned pate dreams). I arrived here a few hours ago and have been swimming, eating, shopping, and hanging with the family. It feels great to be in a home, to be with a family, and to be excited to see my bestie tomorrow morning!

About 1 million other things happened between then and now and tomorrow, but I can’t possibly pull them all out. Good night

Monday, July 20, 2009

This is me sometimes

Well folks, it is time. I’ve got to load up my car with all the luxuries of life I have unloaded into this house. No more bug free evenings, yogurt, or Internet for a while. I mean life on the road isn’t that bad, its not like those things aren’t hard to find. It’s actually quiet amazing how connected I can be if I want to, or how disconnected I can be if I get to!

I am headed a bit south and a bit east today, to check out Yellow Stone, then on to the Bad Lands. I will see Mt. Rushmore too. My friend has sent me on a mission to see the back room! I am slowly getting into the rhythms of travel. I tend to adapt quickly to things, but that has a 2-week expiration date, and then I have to take big steps back and adapt slowly. So I am trying to be kind to myself, adjusting to camping, solitude, and new places. I haven’t been totally committed to my goals of this trip, for example, I sure as hell do not do yoga every morning like I had hoped, but I am hanging solo, working on my guitar, and paying attention to my inner workings, to the best of my ability at least.

I have seen some very cool stuff, and interacted with some amazing people, and I bet that in the past 17 days you have too! These people and things are amazing lessons in magic. Frustrating, pleasant, or silly, it is a fun experience to have, process, and grow from! I encourage you to share you stories with me or with others. I believe we are just want to be loved and accepted and that hopefully comes through relationships, and sharing our thoughts, feelings and experiences, definitely helps form relationships, right?

I don’t know when I will be back on the internet, it probably wont be too long. I have to stop in a town soon and get an oil change, so I will probably find internet there. I will be at a friends house next weekend, and can provide you with an address if anyone wants to send anything!


Saturday, July 18, 2009

Wow, Wow, Wow

Hello wonderfuls!

Wow, Wow, Wow! I cannot even begin to describe everything that has happened and still believe that you would read to the bottom. So much. There is never nothing happening. This is true everywhere. And if anyone can name the movie/book from which this expression I quoted, you will receive a post card!

I am currently being showered, laundered (improper use of the word?), fed, connected (internet/phone style) and rested in Bozeman, Montana! Three.5 days of camping, hiking, solo exploring and EVERYTHING! I am not gunna pretend like it doesn’t nerve me to camp solo. I am ok with the solitude, I have actually enjoyed it since the west coast portion of my trip has been VERY social, but it’s amazing how much I have to trust the world that I will be kept safe. So I am getting used to that, but grateful for indoor sleeping space for the next two nights!

From here I will continue on a solo camping stint through Wyoming and south Dakota and on to Minnesota for another break from camping.

I feel like I have had a million thoughts, experiences, processes, that I wanted to share with all of you. I suppose as the evening settles in I will have more. But until then consider this a post to tell you I have made it from one big destination to another, and show you some pictures! Later I will tell you about the mud bath, music needs, and traffic thoughts!

Oh, I must tell you about my camera really quickly. I have had it for over 5 years now, and its kind of loosing its brain. The viewing screen doesn’t work, which means I have to wait till I plug into a computer to see how the shot came out. That makes for about 50% good stuff, the other 50% I don’t really post☺ I also think that sometimes when I take pictures I forget to look in the moment, so I don’t carry my camera too often. In retrospect I have often feel sad that I didn’t capture a new friend’s face, a cool camp site, or a funny sign I walked by. Alas, they are memories I will have somewhere inside of me forever.


im also posting this video, ah technology!


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

And we're off!

Good morning Friends,

As I am slicing my dumpster dove bread from a Seattle bakery’s parking lot, I am struck with my inspiration for travel. I do it for the people. By choosing to leave my bed, my job, my grocery store, my community, I am forced to find short-term replacements at each location. At each stop I get to form new connections, or build from past interactions. I enjoy reflecting on each experience for its distinction from and parallel to my own life; past, present and future. I am fascinated and inspired by the challenge of creating by own momentary life by sharing the lives of those around me.

The bread struck this thought because I “scored” it with two friends (pictured above) who generously showed me their secret bread spot, after welcoming me into their home, their couch, and filling my belly with tasty food and good stories. I made a connection with both of these friends while we were volunteering in New Orleans two winters ago. I am moved by their generosity, dedication to volunteer work and joyful hearts and open minds which keep us connected through our distance.

Along my west coast travel, and part of the reason it has taken me so long to leave, I have been graced with visiting many friends, and I am a million times grateful for their willingness to connect their hearts, minds, and lives with mine. As I get ready to jump off into a little more solo time, park land, and self reflection; a million thank you’s for the beautiful conversations, awesome swims, and tasty ice creams that I have shared with you along this west coast, it will keep me coming back for more: )

Seeing all of the diversity in this world strengths my life in unimaginable ways, and I am forever grateful. I am also forever encouraging others to take a similar, but individually unique, journey as well. I secretly believe (and hope) that everyone kind of already does. That is why I share my experiences. I am motivated by the ability to prove that “it can be done.”

I hope you find your dreams in your days.

this is my buddy Ethan from the OCF he is an observationist too.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Changing plans and running late, in such a good way

Hello Friends,

Here is a quick update. If I spend too much time near the computer I will never leave the house. Some plans changed, as they always do, and I have been running late, as I tend to. I made it to Seattle yesterday by lunch time, caught up with my buddy Daniel, hashed out music theory with my buddy Michael, and had an adventure with Rae. I am pretty committed to this tent thing, and ended up setting up my house in my buddies back yard. The car is my home, and the tent is my bedroom. My bedroom stays a whole lot neater than the home because I have to break it down every day.

I might stay in Seattle till Wednesday. I think I will have plenty of time to have a solo journey across the country, through the parks I want to see, even if it is just for a few days at each park, to make it to Minnesota for the MJ dance party.

I am grateful for this time to reflect, experience, and SEE the enchantment, demons, and truth that exist here in our culture.

I am off to ride my bike around Seattle, enjoy the Honey Hole, which Natalie says is the best sandwich is Seattle, and find some woods to romp around in. Hopefully crossing paths with fun friends this evening☺ Hope this finds you well!


Saturday, July 11, 2009

This is this is amazing.

I am coming down from the festival life, amazing connections, tent sleeping high; winding into a high way driving, chill music listening, coffee shop writing mood.

Where am I, where am I coming from, where am I going? I am so glad you asked.

I am in a coffee shop in Portland, coming from the Oregon country fair, doing a few computer connections before jumping off for an adventure with my buddy Eric.

Just to catch us up to speed. On Wednesday night I ventured to a hippie Samba Ja concert in the park in Eugene. Thursday morning I went on a fantastic bike ride through Eugene to pick up my ticket to the Oregon Country Fair, an ever growing hippie festivals in the woods outside of Eugene. Once I made my hippie costumes with one of my awesome hosts of Mandy, Tony and Jessie, I headed to the fair grounds where you can pay for park/camp by the car per night, and wandered the OCF outskirts. I was serendipitously connected with a friend of a friend, Oblio who was able to connect me with the Moon Lodge, a Women’s only space at the fair. The space is located in a little alcove of tress, and is beautifully decorated each year with couches, pillows, flags, and love! I worked there on and off throughout the day on Friday. I also wandered the streets of the Fair, met up with old and new friends, and took it all in. The experience was full of lessons, adaptations and enchantment.

The Fair closes to the general public at 7 30 pm. It is my personal goal to go back and be a part of the night life there, because I will be forever curious and envious otherwise. On my way out for the evening I spotted a backpacker wandering the pathways as aimlessly as I was. I offered him space on my 20’X20’ camp site on an impulse. We ended up sharing dinner, stories, dreams, a fire opera, and a wonderful 12 hour (and probably future) friendship. I am forever grateful for the wonderful conversations we had!

So I departed this morning for Portland, picked up a random craig’s lister along the way, and am just ramping up energy to meet up with my buddy Eric. Eric and I connected two years ago when I was in Portland visiting friends and family. We chatted life, swam in the rivers of Washington, and even made fleeting plans of a birthright adventure together. I am excited to share a hug, bike ride, and picnic with him soon!

From here I will travel north to meet up with some friends who was doing the STP (the Seattle to Portland 2-day bike ride) and make my way to Seattle for a reunion with both California and Ohio friends! After that I am headed East, I swear!

I hope this finds you well.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Craigs list Ad

Going east via national parks (glacier, yellowstone, etc)

Reply to: comm-yvdvk-1261240968@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-07-09, 9:07AM PDT

hello fellow travelers!

I am on an adventure and i have room in my car for another person and some stuff. I am departing seattle on monday or tuesday (13th or 14th) and heading east.

destinations are as follows, and are somewhat negotiable. glacier, missoula, bozeman, yellowstone, grand tetons, center for the pole, rushmore, badlands, iowa rag brag, minnesota by the 24th. it will be a 10 day whirewind, and i might drop some of those destinations depending on how things go. i will be camping or couch surfing along the way.

heres a little bio:

i am a 25 year old queer female. im strong, independent, and very DYI. i camp, i cook my own food, i carry my own meals/snacks. i love to ride my bike, i work with kids, and i love to get to know people who i can relate with (mostly travel with women or gentle men), who are into things i am into. that may sound limiting, but i am interested in a lot of things and i see many things in many things. i am interested in health, awareness, bicycles, adventures, gratitude, the human experience, sociology, queer stuff, laughing, camp games and songs, stretching, good music, community, instruments, and many other things. So if you want to jump on my adventure from seattle, thats easy, shoot me an e mail, we will hang out and see if we can get along for a few days, if you want a ride any where along the way, it might be a little more complicated because i dont know when i will be where, but if there is a place i can throw down my tent, i will probably head your way.

434 825 2890

ps, you can check out my blog to see if you wanna hang out with me. apthocurious.blogspot.com

  • Location: glacier, yellowstone, etc
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
image 1261240968-0


So much to say and I just posted this morning. Man oh man what a day I had! And it only started at noon. I went for a bike adventure with two thirds of the family I am staying with. One mom, Mandy, and the 10 year old son, Tony, and I toured the amazingly flat, bike friendly, and sunny city of Eugene. We hit up the community bike shop, the used book stores, and the same hippie restaurant I enjoyed for dinner last night! This is such a crazy hippie town!

After that I headed out on my own, picking up a book on free camping all over the western 17 states, wandering miles and miles of bike paths throughout the city, and catching up with a few friends via telephone. I also caught a sunset park concert with Samba Ja. At first I was shy to dance solo, then I was so empowered by it. And the Samba was powerful!

It’s been a while since I’ve had my alone time. Ironically it was something I was most nervous about when planning the trip, and something I was craving this am. I sure did enjoy the comfortable company of a dear friend while Kendra was with me, but am ready for the self I must face now that I am making my decisions on my own. Luckily, the world is still opening to me, and I am finding exactly what I desire, imagine, and need.

My goals have been transformed, and it looks like I will be experiencing the Oregon Country fair to the best of my ability, swimming in a river with my buddy in Portland, supporting my friends doing the STP (Seattle to Portland) bicycle ride, and venturing to Seattle to meet up with old friends, new friends, and traveling friends! Then, I swear, I will leave this coast and find my self in the woods, in the parks, and in the car, so I can kick it with Cassidy and Ben in Minnesota, and dance to MJ with Lea, nugget, and family! Wooohoooo. Onward, Talley hoe. I am so grateful for this opportunity, and am grateful to have your support along the way.


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Adventures with Capes

Hellllo Wonderfuls,

I am writing this posting still stuffed into my sleeping bag, lounging on a double stuffed air mattress. After 5 nights of “tenting it” by rivers and trees, this is a nice treat! I’ve been gone for less than a week and already there is so much to share, reflect and process.

My city slicker friend has been my partner in crime since city departure on July 2nd. We supported each other through the pealing away from cell phones and dance parties, and the introduction of bug bites and car life. I dropped her off at the airport in Eugene, OR this morning, and now I will attempt to verbally sum up our adventure…

Kendra and I had two main goals on our journey, three if you count “getting along” as the third. The first (and successful) goal was daily FBS (full body submergence) into rivers or other fun bodies of water. The second, less successful, yet fun, goal was to consume ice cream each day. I will describe our story based around these experiences.

We arrived on Laguna Farms on Thursday evening to find our wonderful farm friends hanging out in the Yurt, after a tasty dinner, some good conversation and a fun visit to the free box (pictures to come of course) we enjoyed a comfy futon, knowing tent life was on its way. The next morning we had breakfast with a bundle of beautiful women, some of my heart family from Ohio who has also migrated to the west coast. We grazed my friend Graham’s farm for fresh veggies for our journey, and visited with some kids on farm camp. From there we made our way north, enjoying the sights, the towns, and the people of the west coast. We stopped at few places along the way, once of which being Ukiah. It was super hot as we walked by a desolate Economy Inn with a pool. I thought our luck was better to ask, so we asked the check in guy if we could swim. He said sure. Our first mission of the day was complete, now on to ice cream. We picked up some delicious coconut bliss ice cream and continued north to the campground of Standish Hicky. Where Kendra conveniently ran into some friends who were bike touring the coast. They serendipitously had made reservations for a car camping spot that evening, but their friend with a car was unable to attend. We lucked out hard core.

After camping with some friends, having pancakes with the neighbors and a photo shoot with our new costume from the free box, we headed to Eel River where we would check off our FBS goal of the day. It was pristine and magical, and gave us energy for the drive a head. Our next destination was a beautiful farm a few minutes south of Arcata. A friend was hosting a large house warming party on his new property (conveniently on a river!). We enjoyed friends, played camp games, and ate delicious, local delicacies. The potluck was amazing, and we accomplished our second goal by indulging in goat milk ice cream made with duck eggs. Of man I wanted to melt right there.

The next day we swam and ate more deliciousness, including the goat milk ice cream, just to keep things rolling, and continued north through the red woods.

We drove through beautiful landscapes and found an amazing camp spot, in the national forest, so it was free and secluded, on the Smith River! We set up shop, cooked dinner, had a nice fire, and played music. The next morning we enjoyed a dip and headed north and east to Crater Lake. Still acclimating to life in the “wild,” the bugs were pretty bad there, I was still nursing itchies from Standish Hicky, and now am double scratching, but it was worth it. The lake is beautiful, pristine, and massive!

We contemplated a swim, but it was pretty cold outside, so we committed to finding a swimming hole along the way to Eugene. We found a random lake along our drive, jumped in and carried on our way. We arrived in Eugene, showered, hung out with some friends we would be staying with for the night, and then hit the town by bike. Oh it felt good to be back on my bike! We enjoyed a tasty dinner and explored the beautiful streets lined with cute bungalows and trees and day dreamed about what its like to live with space around you.

As I said earlier I dropped Kendra off this morning. It’s not clear where I will be going from here. Many things are calling my name. At first I said I was going to skip Seattle and headed east immediately, but now that I have gotten this far, I’m getting pretty curious about what I might find up there, but am not sure how to manage my time. I am committed to arrive in Minnesota on the 24th, so that leaves me with 16 days and a lot of dreams: Glacier, Yellowstone, Grand Tetons, Rushmore, and Badlands, Ashland, Oregon Country Fair, Seattle, Bozeman, Missoula, bike trips in Iowa. I just don’t know how to do it all, and I am becoming unattached to my original goal for a relaxed trip across the country.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

ps does anyone know anyone is Boise?
Hello Friends,

I have been really excited about this Blogging adventure combined with my access to a working computer and internet! This is new for me, most adventures in the past were with slow computer, lack of organization, or nothing electronic! Well I have had this past week “free” to prepare. As I mentioned in my last post I have been scrambling to find sublet, fix bike, take care of tasks around house, etc. What I haven’t mentioned is all the internal stuff I have had to deal with. Ironically, all of the stress I have experience from the last minute uncertainty, has actually served to “distract” me from my deepest of fears and stresses. Now that I am completing things on my To Do list, I am facing them. Once Kendra leaves on Wednesday, July 8th, I will be traveling “alone” until the 24th. Now no one is ever really alone, if there aren’t people, there are trees and squires, and the inner dialog. And that’s why I am doing this, I want to spend time with my inner dialog. My fear for this journey is being much louder than my internal voice. I hear so many horror stories about travelers who are taken advantage of, abused, stolen from, and I am so afraid that that will happen to me. Part of me fears being a woman who sticks out, gender queer, independent, coming from San Francisco, etc. I fear that people do no like that in different parts of this country. I am terribly afraid I will be that story no one, but everyone, wants to hear. I’m kind of afraid my fear will become reality if I don’t release it, deal with it (love it) and walk with confidence. I aim to project more positive intention without building heavy expectations. As I am processing this fear, its roots, its meaning, and trying to break it down with my experience of good, abundance and communal support, I am finding more layers of fear that I associate with independence. The next fear that comes up is the idea that each decision I make on this trip is my own. In my last big America trip each decision was shared with my tribe. For two months, Eric and I were a team, then Wormz, Eric, and I were the deciding team for 2.5 more months. If some thing went wrong, we were all in it together. Now if some thing goes wrong, it’s on me. I’m the deciding factor. Man that’s a lot of responsibility. It’s ironic really. I am leaving the city because the responsibility of job day in and day out, rent, social functions, all of that, has been feeling heavy. But I am leaving it for what currently feels like a much heavier decision making experience.

Thankfully my roommate has reminded me that i am A. capable and good and B. those stories i am afraid of are a very small percentage of the actual experiences people have.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


It's back to all good. I found a sub-leaser, I fixed my bike, it fits in my car, I organized some stuff, and I have another day to finish the last bit of work, packing, organizing, and randomness that I would like to complete for the next two months! Here I come world. thanks to ALL of you who have helped me get here!

Tomorrow evening my friend Kendra and I will hit the road and hopefully make it to Sebastopol by sunset to visit with old and new friends!