Saturday, December 12, 2009

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Hello Friends,

I hope this e mail finds all of you well. It has been brought to my attention that today, December 1st, is World AIDs Day. I am brought back to warm memories of one amazing week of my life, last year, when I rode from San Francisco to Los Angeles with 2,000 of my newest friends. What an epic week it was. Waking up before the sun to fuel the beast and hop on the bike. The best “gay-cation” I have ever taken. Thank you for taking the time to continue reading about why I do what I do and how you can support the dream!

I signed up last year because I love to ride my bike, I have signed up again this year because of the deep connection I have found with the organization, the community, and the support that is The Aids Lifecycle. This year I have raised my fund-raising goal to $5,000. I was warmly surprised with the generous support of all my wonderful friends and family last year. This year I want to stretch my ability to raise funds, rally the troops and to help connect those that want to support with those who are in need of support. As we all have heard, and hopefully not experienced, there are systems within our country that fail to fully support those in dire need of health care, education, and community. With grim financial outlooks, budgets are being restricted and the programs set up to support those affected by AIDS are being cut left and right. The SF AIDs Foundations and LA Gay & Lesbian Center fund-raise all year to support those who are left on the other side of the door. I believe in what they do, the programs they run, the message they send, and the way the holistically work with a diverse range of communities to work towards health. I ask you to support my ride, our dream, and everyone’s future. Any donation, no matter large or small, is action in the right direction.

You can check out my ALC homepage to see pictures, donate, or read more about why I do what I do. (

Thank you for being awesome!

Rose Johnson

434 825 2890

PS If you are in the bay area there are a few big events happening in my life I would like to invite you to:
I am performing (and catering-with my newest dream with a friend at an art studio benefit for Big Umbrella Studios (906 1/2 Divisadero) on December 13th @ 7pm!

I made reservations for NYE at the group camp site in Muir Woods-Alice Eastwood, ALL are welcome! E mail me for more details.

I am planning Highway 1 in California and New Zealand Bicycle tours in the very near future!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Cooking is alchemy

Cooking is alchemy

So is a sink full of dirty dishes, or an empty one? I have finished my Monday Apothocreations and am, for the first time in a few weeks, feelings energized and relaxed by the completion, versus rushed and concerned about the next step. This week, and next week, I will only have two customers. It means my Sundays are mine, my Monday mornings are relaxed and there isn’t even any work on Tuesdays. Holy Cow! I will resume full delivery services on Nov 17th and will move into a bi-monthly delivery service.

This has been a crazy two months. It has been frightening, exhausting, and stresfull, but also so rewarding, exciting and successful! I am learning the balance of perfecting business practices and harnessing potential growth. I want to make sure I am keeping this sustainable, personal, and detailed. I am also excited for the future of Apothocurious. I have been making really exciting connections around the city. I am meeting folks leaving their jobs to create their dreams, building local gardens and urban farms, and everyone is cooperating and sharing the abundance of the bay area!

I am most stoked about:

The awesome farmers market down the st. from my house, grove and divis, every Sunday, every awesome veggie!
The free farmers market at 23rd and treat, you can donate abundance and take up gold!
My friend Allison is making and selling delicious custom ice cream and we trade!-ask me how you can get ahold of a quart!
SourFlour, this guy is giving away 1,000 loaves of bread, he is try to figure out funding to continue to give away bread for free!
Other fun friends who are in to sharing/trading goods for goods!
Experimenting with turning raw goods into tasty treats!

Monday, September 28, 2009


I am sending you a little of the info that will be going up on the (currently being created) website! Including the menu for October! Wohoo! I am ready to take on a few more customers, so feel free to spread the word!

For those of you who don’t know…Apothocurious is my dream: The CSCA, a variation on the theme of the Community Supported Agriculture veggie box, a popular food sourcing model in the Bay Area in which local farmers supply our communities with tasty, local veggies. Apothocurious, a Community Supported Culinary Adventure provides you with a weekly (or bimonthly) supply of freshly made spreads, sauces and salads to fulfill your nutritional needs, and dazzle your tastebuds!

In each delivery you receive 4 products: a hummus, a pesto (or other equally delicious dip), a salsa, and a salad. Each week will feature a different selection of the spreads ranging from Honeyed Hummus to Peach Salsa to Arugula Pesto to Sweet Potato Avocado Salad.

The ingredients are selected by season and as local, as organic and as sustainable as possible. Apothocurios creations will not include meat, often include nuts, and occasionally include dairy. However, special dietary restrictions will be accounted for.

In the future we will include other local artisan goods such as a variety of baked goods, kombucha, and even local yogurt!

Here is how it works.

its like a combo milk man & CSA box, a Hummus Chick...Pea...if you will...

Once a week (or every other week) you receive four beautiful jars filled with a variety of gourmet; locally, organically, and personally inspired food.

each week will come with:

16oz of uniquely flavored hummus

16 oz of seasonally inspired salad, often vegan and/or raw

8 oz of decadent pesto

8 oz of wild salsa

All you need to provide is a secure and cold location for your deliveries each week.

Most customers have an off street space with a cooler, a basement, a gate between the street and the front door, etc. Each household is different, and we will work with you to provide you the easiest delivery possible!

The cost is a sliding scale of $25-$35/wk with a $14 jar deposit.

Jar Deposit

This is where the milk man comes in, each week I will deliver 4 jars to your house and pick up 4 jars from the previous week. The $14 is for four 16 oz jars and four 8 oz jars and makes for an easy jar swap each week! At the end of your service you can either keep your jars or receive your deposit back.

Probably the motivation to read through the whole e mail:

What’s cooking this month

October Week 1:

Polenta Hummus

Watermelon Heirloom Salad

Cucumber Salsa

Cilantro Pesto

Week 2:

Basil Hummus

Heirloom Salsa

Broccoli Salad

Red Pepper Pesto

Week 3:

White Bean Hummus

Roasted Zucchini Salsa

Beets and Carrots Salad

Basil Pesto

Week 4:

Sept Hummus

BNS Salsa

Tabouli Salad

Cranberry Pesto

If you are interested in subscribing please get back to me quickly, the spots tend to fill up fast and I hate saying no to friends!



Tuesday, September 22, 2009


So I totally spaced on taking a picture of the fleet this week and the deliveries are done. But they looked oh so beautiful. And I could have made it a group shot because I had two amazing helpers this Monday. And whooooo did it make things run smoother. My awesome roommate brad washed dished the entire time, it just goes to show how many dishes there are to be done. Elisa helped with the jarring and pesto perfecting. Next week maybe max and ruby will be my Sunday crew!

It is great to have a lively kitchen, friends fed, fresh food being creating into magic, and the power to explore, learn, and practice! This week we had honey hummus (my secret (not so secret anymore) favorite) capRAZY salad (vegan, with grilled zucchini), garbanzo bean salsa, and arugula pesto, which was a a little bitter, but can be heated up to tone it down. Brainstorming on the menu for next month and how to take it to the next level, both in service and quality! Wohoooo!

Friday, September 18, 2009

the apex of apotho


I have the slightest hint of internet through my windows in my apt and it makes me so happy to be able to connect. I have been reading up in the blog world these days, yay for blogs! right? Its friday, im in between week 2 and week 3. getting the feed back, dreaming about the future and mashing on some surplus hummus and salsa:)

to be honest i am feeling like this project is way bigger than i am, and its a crazy amount of responsibility. the demand is unbelievable. i think i could sign up 15 new customers today if i wanted to. and i want to, but i cant. i don't have the fridge space. that's my first limiting factor. its also crazy to think about the risks involved with feeding people. i started this because i love it, but i think i would stop immediately if i ever got anyone sick. i am using my best practices, washing things every time i use them, washing hands, table tops, everything, as much as possible. but its still crazy. it makes me think about going vegan, perhaps that would eliminate some risks? the third issue is quality. it is just so much harder to make a slamming hummus that has to reach out and make 13 customers happy! So im working on it. my PR bestie is encouraging me to keep track of ingredient, but i am just not that diligent (she knows it, thats why shes pushing so hard. if you really want the details, this week, to attempt to increase efficiency i am going to jar as i make instead of storing in a larger container and then storing morning of. i will see if this affects freshness, and will douse with olive oil to ensure.

this weeks menu is exciting!!

Honey Hummus and Arugula pesto are two things i am so stoaked about! also a caprazy salad, a variation of the standard capreezy salad that is just gunna get a little crazy, and it gives me the freedom i thrive on! this is where i hope no one actually reads this, because i am going to make roasted corn salsa and i have never made it before! wish me luck! (or send recipes and tips!)

my other job with the after school bike program isnt really happening this week and is very part time till oct, which is a blessing for getting apotho of the ground, but im excited to go back. even though i sure have been enjoy my really really under employed life style.

today i will cook some lunch with some buddies, check out park(ing) days (if i was really good, i would link that to a website so you could learn more about it-but like i said earlier i really dont think anyone reads this) and hopefully get a chance to volunteer for a gala i wish to attend tomorrow!

i hope you find your dreams in your days.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Wowzers. Never have I ever made a gallon of hummus, but yesterday I did! And what a joy it was! I made ½ gallons of pesto and salsa and another gallon + of cucumber salad! I am looking forward to all of the learning I get to do while working on this project! So far people are stoaked about it! I have 12 customers, I had about 4 oz of extra hummus this am, and I am going to deliver all of these tasties in a bit, amongst other fun errands!

I wrote that mid process on Tuesday morning. Monday was my cooking/prepping day, Tuesday my jarring and delivering day. The process was successful. I managed to make all 9 deliveries (some customers are add ons and every other weekers) and feel great about having 11 folks to get to next week! The menu next week is exciting! A wild rice salad, ginger hummus, peach salsa and a tziki sauce.

I am feeling great about the future of this and being able to juggle it with my other job. So I am figuring out publicity, website stuff, and where to go from here! But I suppose I should wait and see how week 2 goes…

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

web counters

Dreams do come true. Oh yeah.

As you read in my newsletter, hummus is all I can think about these days! My wonderful friends have been helping with the foodie brainstorm, experimenting and taste testing, and they don’t seem to mind. I currently have 10 “families” signed up. I am at my max, my original goal for the trial period was 5, but I really didn’t want to say no, so everyone who signed up with the in first 24 hours of the announcement got a yes! And YES, I am excited!

I have been experimenting with hummus this week. Polenta, honey, wasabi, and spices have all been dancing in my cuisineart. Week one is pretty standard, Flavor Slam Hummus, Basil Pesto, Cucumber Salad and a Heirloom Salsa. I am going to buy 10lbs of dried chick peas, 20 bunches of pesto, gosh maybe 20 big heirloom tomatoes, maybe 15+ cucumbers. Luckily I know that if I have extra I will just feed myself (and my friends) for the week, but it’s crazy to buy so much food! I LOVE it! I love shopping for food, navigating where it is coming from, how it was grown, the right price, etc. and then, even more, I love preparing it! And that’s what I will do next. I think I will spend a little time on Monday making the pesto and the salsa. They both have olive oil in them and time will not affect their flavor, only enhance it. on Tuesday I will make the hummus (Monday evening I will soak the beans) and the cucumber salad. If all goes well I will start my delivery route by 1 pm on Tuesday and with a 3 hours break between 3 and 6 pm, I will hopefully visit everyone by 9 pm! I am so excited! I cant believe how much stuff needs to be done, I gotta find the best jar sales in SF, get my bike all set up for the delivery, work out the logistics with folks about the delivery and get all of my ingredients.

Oh yeah ingredients, this is the most exciting part. I am so jazzed to be able to have a full hand, head and community supported distributor (me!) in the mix of creating a PURE business model incorporating the fair treatment of others, buying Local, Sustainable, Healthy and happy vegetables! I have found a. organic USA source of chick peas at Rainbow (the local co-op), they also sell local (ish (napa)) olive oil and other good ingredients, so I will stock up there with my dried goods. I will continue to look for a more local chick pea source too! If I can get my act together I will do it on a Wednesday or Thursday so I can get 20% off!

Every Sunday there is an awesome farmers mark four blocks to the east of me. This Sunday I will do my huge shopping there. I am excited to make more connections with my local farmers as I preparing to buy in bulk from them for the next four weeks, and hopefully longer!

This project is feeling great! I am hoping these four weeks go well because I have huge dreams for where this could go. I have talked to so many friends who make awesome (local, organic, PURE) artisan goods. It would be so fun to support their dreams and promote their talents by having a section on my website where people can check a box and order whatever good they want that week. I have very talented bakers interested, a friend who is working on a milk source to make raw yogurt, a co-worker to who makes amazing chai in wine bottles, and the doors keep on opening more! But I gotta take it one day at a time, and week 1 is looking good! Whoooo hoooo.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

My Dream!

This is a dream I want to share with all of you!

Please contact me with interest, questions and curiosity! Feel free to share this with others who might be Apothocurious.
Rose Johnson
I am Apothocurious! Are you?

Saturday, August 22, 2009


Hello friends

Wow, in my new form of travels where I visit with old friends and wander around my old living environments I have become detached from the blog, my deepest apologizes! But all has been going very well. I have been floating on the good vibes of the Michigan Womyn’s Festival where I became so empowered in my own personal strength, in my sisterhood, and in the possibilities of the world. In Ohio I have been doing lots of that too! I stopped in Toledo and visited with my buddy Boo and her wonderful family. They took me in, fed my belly, and let me do my laundry! Boo and I had wonderful adventures full of bike riding, aqua jogging and silly games that entertain our competitive selves in silly fashions. Boo and I headed south and continued the visits with friends in Columbus and Athens. Our other college roommate came down and we had more fun adventures. After Boo and Jen headed home I met up with my travel sister Wormz and we found good ways to get into trouble in Athens, enjoying some of the finest eats and treats in town! I am continuing to wander around the greater southeastern Ohio area by visiting Columbus, Yellow Springs and more! I am most excited for the wedding this afternoon which will be a reunion of many great Athens people! I’m here till Sunday when I do the last leg of the drive to my folks house.

My nephew Avery Layson has been born, and is now 10 days old. I can’t wait to go visit him. My mom is there now and says he is adorable, woohooo!

I am grateful for this time to visit with friends, explore health, music, food, and people. My biggest challenge/focus? Staying present. I am very excited to get back to SF and put my roots back into the water there, and am trying to set my intentions without being too distracted from being right here, right now. I am attempting to incorporate what I learn in this moment, towards what I want for the future, but momentum, expectations, and patterns always challenge that, but I bet you know that.

As i mentioned before i am hosting a We are here and we are all older party in SF at Dolores Park on Saturday afternoon (1 or 2 ish?) the 29th, please bring a dish to share, a game to play, and a smile!

And in other cool news, a room is opening up in my Apt, oct 1(or sept 15th if nec) i live with two guys and two cats, in a small, quiet apt in Nopa. If you want to join our family, lemme know if will give you more details. rent is cheap, the place is small, but the potential is HUGE, we are going to establish community, respect, and communication, this is a perfect time to join and create with us!

Winding down

Hello friends

Wow, in my new form of travels where I visit with old friends and wander around my old living environments I have become detached from the blog, my deepest apologizes! But all has been going very well. I have been floating on the good vibes of the Michigan Womyn’s Festival where I became so empowered in my own personal strength, in my sisterhood, and in the possibilities of the world. In Ohio I have been doing lots of that too! I stopped in Toledo and visited with my buddy Boo and her wonderful family. They took me in, fed my belly, and let me do my laundry! Boo and I had wonderful adventures full of bike riding, aqua jogging and silly games that entertain our competitive selves in silly fashions. Boo and I headed south and continued the visits with friends in Columbus and Athens. Our other college roommate came down and we had more fun adventures. After Boo and Jen headed home I met up with my travel sister Wormz and we found good ways to get into trouble in Athens, enjoying some of the finest eats and treats in town! I am continuing to wander around the greater southeastern Ohio area by visiting Columbus, Yellow Springs and more! I am most excited for the wedding this afternoon which will be a reunion of many great Athens people! I’m here till Sunday when I do the last leg of the drive to my folks house.

My nephew Avery Layson has been born, and is now 10 days old. I can’t wait to go visit him. My mom is there now and says he is adorable, woohooo!

I am grateful for this time to visit with friends, explore health, music, food, and people. My biggest challenge/focus? Staying present. I am very excited to get back to SF and put my roots back into the water there, and am trying to set my intentions without being too distracted from being right here, right now. I am attempting to incorporate what I learn in this moment, towards what I want for the future, but momentum, expectations, and patterns always challenge that, but I bet you know that.

As i mentioned before i am hosting a We are here and we are all older party in SF at Dolores Park on Saturday afternoon (1 or 2 ish?) the 29th, please bring a dish to share, a game to play, and a smile!

And in other cool news, a room is opening up in my Apt, oct 1(or sept 15th if nec) i live with two guys and two cats, in a small, quiet apt in Nopa. If you want to join our family, lemme know if will give you more details. rent is cheap, the place is small, but the potential is HUGE, we are going to establish community, respect, and communication, this is a perfect time to join and create with us!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

And yet again I "pause"

Of course I would like to believe that pausing is what I have been doing for the past 40 days. I can’t say that is 100% true, but I’ve been trying, and I suppose that is all we can do.

I have been so blessed, loved, and am overwhelming grateful for the experiences, conversations, exchanges, and smiles I have had along this journey.

Where am I?
Where am I coming from?
Where am I going?

I am in Toledo visiting my bestie from college and her family. As an out of state roommate, Boo and her family consistently took me into their home, fed me, and offered support throughout my time in Ohio, it is heart warming to be back in their home for a pool side visit:)

I am coming off of a week in the woods with 4,000 womyn. A gathering in the state of Michigan, one that offers music, workshops, communal vegetarian meals, and a one of a kind of living experience has officially stolen my heart. I could write pages and pages of my experience, but I will try to brief. I have been exploring the festival scene for a few years, looking for myself inside of these cultural events, attempting to conceptualize what it means to be festive, to retreat, to get our feet off of the ground. Witnessing the community and connection of annual festival goers at each festival, I have finally found myself inside of this one. Communal meals, participation (each person is expected to volunteer for two work shifts), ultimate Frisbees, flirting, hugs, smiles, connection, oh woman oh womyn friends, my heart bubbles with joy as I recall the happiness, blessing, comfort, and fluidity I found on that land. I will do everything in my powers to return next year, and I will gladly bring friends if you wish to join:)

Where am I going? Gosh I don’t even know. I mean I know where I am going physically, but in side of my heart, I just don’t even know, and I am so excited!

Physically, I’m gunna enjoy the bumming around with boo (who is on a summer vay-kay from law school/internship) and then head down to south eastern Ohio for the next two weeks. Visiting Columbus, Athens, the hocking hills and then a wedding in yellow springs! From there I head to my parents house for a few days of recovery before I head back to SF. (I return Aug. 27th. Meet me at Dolores park on august 29th for a b day picnic potluck!) Also, in other SF news, I have a room opening in my apt and we plan on creating a meditative, communal, warm home, with reasonable rent (a major perk) if you are interested, please let me know!

My friends, I cannot even begin to describe the joy I have discovered on this journey. In the past I was able to produce these really intense e-mail updates, about my internal processes, my struggles, the pain in my heart. I was probably pretty discrete about it, but travel hurt my heart, it's solitude, it's unknown, the fear, doubt, and reliance on the universe, but on this journey I am finding so much fluidity with all of that, my heart is melting with love for myself, for others, and for the human experience, for the ability to share, communicate, grow, help, exist. Every day I am blown away by the curiosity I find with each new experience, I didn't realize this continued to happen, that I was going to grow in this direction, but its happening and I am so ridiculously GRATEFUL! I left with the goal of doing it alone and finding a way to have fun with myself, to find that joy and peace in solitude I couldn’t find as a child, and I am flirting with the discovery of presence, curiosity, belief, and truth. Thank you for all of your help along the way.

I will give you all some fun stats from the past 40 days:

Nights slept in a tent: 31
"Rent" (all camp sites and hotel costs): 160 (40 being the one time I stayed in a hotel with friends)
Days where FBI (full body immersion (into water (and sometimes rain or rowboats counted☺) was successful: at least 27
Miles: 3500+
Smiles shared: 1 million and counting
Number of PBJs consumed: 14
Miles on bike: 127
Ok the last few stats were simply educated guesses.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

What's next?

So what’s next you ask? Well I am headed back into the woods, this time, not alone. No I don’t think much more of my trip will be alone. I have friend dates up the wazoo for the next month. On Sunday I meet up with California friends in Hart, Michigan. We (4,000 or so Womyn) will all be attending the Michigan Womyn’s fest, a high light/purpose for this “detour” through Michigan. On the 10th I meet up with my best friend from college, Boo, and we will bike tour some part of Michigan, probably Sleepy Bear Sand Dunes on Lake Michigan. Then on down to Athens, where we learned how to drink, I mean learned about important stuff and majored in it, and meet up with our old roommate, teammate and great buddy, Jen, and live up the nostalgia of our old college town! I will do some more Ohio friend visiting in Columbus and stop off in Yellow Springs to help celebrate the love of two wonderful friends of mine, Michelle and Brian as they get married in the Little Miami. Not on it, not by it, but IN the river. I can’t wait. This is the same river where I took a handful of leaders in training ( 8th grade girls from Camp Oty Okwa) on a canoe trip my first session as a summer camp counselor many years ago. The place holds many other important memories from me, and I look forward to visiting an old home and heart (hart) friends.

and awaaayyy we gooooo, awaaayyy wee goooo

Hello wonderful friends.

Blessed with the beauty and peace of hiking, camping, and swimming, I am smacked in the face when I return to civilization to deal with computers that don’t stay powered without being plugged in and bankcard issues. You don’t know how much I wish I could run back to the woods. Not this time. From my huddled spot by the wall outlet, I will attempt to document the beauty of the past four days. If I can’t cover it in words, I will try pictures.

I departed Minneapolis, Minnesota on Tuesday morning, pausing at the Honda dealership to get an oil change. While waiting for them to clean out the rocks from the tires, which had been making a peculiar clicking sound, I was scouring the map for my next destination. I spotted a pretty looking green patch on the northern part of Wisconsin titled “Apostle Islands National Lake Shore.” Being a National Park junkie (and a NP map collector), you know you can count me in! I headed that way, taking my time to talk up visitor center employees and other locals throughout my journey. I also hit up the St. Croix national river/scenic high way, which was a bonus, and also came with a map!

My goal was to get dropped off on an island for a few days with just my backpack and guitar. It didn’t quite work out that way, the ferries only run so often, and I only wanted to stay for a few days, so I rocked a kayak day tour, enjoyed a lakeside walk in campsite, and made myself at home. I made a few friends on the tour, and shared s’mores with them one night. From there I headed to Pictured Rock National Lake Shore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. This spot has been on the map for weeks, and boy did it stand up to its expectations. I started the tour off with a 3 hour boat tour (not as sexy as Gilligan’s island unfortunately, but geologically stunning for sure)! The rock cliffs are spectacular and their colors are so unique! After the Glacier retreating, certain land masses shot out of the ground ( I love it when geological talk sounds quick) to make these drastic cliffs which are decorated by different minerals (and colors) being forced out of the rock via underground water channels, it’s pretty breath taking. I was most excited about this park because of its back packing trails! The lake provides a clean water source (filter needed), stunning beaches, and chilly, but beautiful, swimming.

I signed up for a backcountry site about 3 miles out from a parking lot. Not too much distance, but I haven’t been backpacking in years, and wasn’t sure what I could handle. The hike was relatively flat, beautiful, woodsy, but man am I out of back packing shape. It was difficult to carry all my stuff, plus without filter, I carried two days of water, and I drink a lot of water!

It was amazing to be out there, it took me back to the backpacking days I miss so much! There is something so magical inside of my heart when I walk through the trails and am so far from cars, banks, and telephones. It’s challenging, rewarding, and peaceful! There were a few others out there, going in different directions, sharing a campfire, and I was lucky enough to borrow a water filter for a few minutes. I am so grateful for this moment because it took me down to the beach, and it was one of the most beautiful moments I have ever shared in nature. The water was calmly bouncing against the beach, the sun was still lighting the sky from where it has just set, and the colors of evening were spectacular. I had heard that lake superior was stunning, but not until this moment had I really seen its beauty.

The am was spent hiding out in the tent, waiting for the morning showers to pass, a short swim in the chilly waters, and book and journal time!

On my hike back to the car I talked to a few folks that seemed surprised that I was doing this adventure solo. It’s funny how apparent it is that I am by myself when I am walking through the woods with everything on my back. Less so when I run into a gas station to buy a coffee. I suppose my partner in crime could easily be waiting in the car. I have been thinking a lot about the solitude as of late. Finding quite a bit of comfort in it really. Now that I have gotten used to the fears of sleeping alone, the responsibility of solo decision making, and the feelings of wanting a familiar face to understand who I am and where I am coming from. I have come to find a lot of joy in my current way of life. I am able to do whatever I want. From sandy feet in the tent, lots of raw garlic in my meals, and ability to get up and go, or stick around for a while, I rarely get too cranky with my travel partner;)

I have traveled alone in the past. Each time gets easier and easier, but always, always, always challenging! I never thought I would be a solo traveler. I know I won’t always be. I look forward to sharing these experiences with a companion(s). And I get to, from time to time, fellow travelers, or locals, welcome me into their lives and we are able to share stories, walks, or pints of ice cream along the way. So when people ask me if I am alone, I answer first with yes, second with, I am never alone, and third with yes, and I eat as much garlic as I choose!

When it comes down to it, as far as my reality reaches at such a young age, it appears that life is all about the relationships we hold. And relationships are time spent with something, quality and quantity combined. And in order to have the beautiful relationships I have been blessed with in my life, I must spend this time with my self. Paying close attention to how I choose to live, how I treat myself, and how I experience this world. I think, hope, intend for it to, make me a better partner, friend, and community member.

In love, in awe, in smiles,

Visual documentation:

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Hello friends and family,

As I write to you, I prepare to depart from my luxurious family stop in Minneapolis and head out for my final solo leg of the trip. Today is July 27th and I am attending a festival on August the 2nd, so that gives me about 5 nights on the solo road again. I am excited for this time. After the festival I have friend dates, weddings, parent visits, and I just bought my plane ticket back to SF (Aug 27th!), so I will be social social social!

My time in MN was great, i had a sweet beach spot on the lake for tenting, a family to watch movies with, and conversations to remind me of where I am headed. Now I going! I am hoping this will continue to be a positive, self strengthen journey, full of joy, accomplishment and safety, but I also feel like I should just let go of all of that and just see what comes.

So many thoughts, feelings, memories, realizations, come and go all of the time. I have these “insights” of how things can be, are, or are changing, and then I forget them. Sometimes they are able to calm me, help me be present, other times they are powerful, but dissolve after their appearance. But aren’t those the moments of life we find to be the most amazing? I suppose they often come after hard work or suffering. I can’t wait, I can’t force it, though I am grateful for them for sure.

Anyways, I’m off to see what comes, hoping to find my energy, explore myself, and see the UP (upper peninsula of Michigan)

I try to remember, and it’s difficult because it’s not what I want to hear, that often these trips are most powerful in reflection. But as I work on having 2020 foresight (by reflecting on my 2020 hindsight) I am frustrated by ability to be present, but I bet that doesn’t help me get there any faster, ha!

I have been thinking a lot about dreams, reality, and imagination. How we live, how we wanna live, how we can live. How I live, how I wanna live and how I can live. Gratitude, (or my lack there of sometimes), sharing, being special, responsibility, strangers, energy, chemistry, lack of fulfillment, happiness, exploration, and about a million other things. What are you dreaming about?



1: movie from yellow stone of a small steam hole

2: a 20 second experience of what it is like to ride in my car

3: an accidental video that i have included anyway.

Monday, July 27, 2009

where i have really been

Hey everyone

with a lazy morning comes lazy computer time. i updated my route map. here is every where i have been. i would love to add details to each spot, but i just do not have the technological patience to do it, sorry:) pictures will be uploaded today too! i can invite you to my google map page if you are in love with maps like me and want to see which high ways i took, i have enough patience to do that. back roads whenever possible!

and this is where i am headed:)

Time to get real

Time to get real. And how do we do that? We talk about FOOD! Visiting Minneapolis has been a tour of friends, lakes and FOOD!. Without a really good cooling system, which a lazy cooler doesn’t suffice, I have had limited meat consumption. Have no fear, I have made up for it in this town! Japanese bbq, Michael Jackson tribute bbq and the dinner I shared with my buddies last night, I am sitting in protein heaven right now:)

While discussing my route with my wonderful friend Cassidy, we arranged to meet in Minneapolis to visit her family along the way. Two other friends were able to join in the weekend fun as well. After a tour of the city’s lakes and rooftop bars, we ventured to this amazing restaurant. There was a special deal; any salad and entrĂ©e for $19. Most of their entrees were well over $23, and they had ever reason to be. The restaurant was a very innovative, well thought out, gourmet spot that did it right! Everyone had the arugula salad, which has baby fennel, an orange puree, ginger sauce and a piece of grapefruit, that I didn’t hate. For the entrees; I order the venison, accompanied by cherries, a chocolate sauce, some sort of noodle delight, and peanuts, Ben had the lamb roast, Morgan the Halibut, and Cassidy the Duck. I am grateful for friends who do not mind sharing bites, because everyone’s food was unbelievable! I have been grazing on peanut butter, broccoli and bread and cheese for the past month, so this weekend has been such a wonderful treat of good eats! Thank you Minneapolis!

I have taken up shop on The Favor Family’s’ Volley ball court which is on the edge of the lake. It makes for beautiful sunsets, sunrises, and great nights sleep. I am grateful for the hospitality and fun this family has provided me!

This trip has been broken down into sections. Each time I pause from the solitude section, I am grateful for family or friends who allow me to clean up, connect with folks far away, and prepare for my next leg of the trip!

From here I am off on my last solo trip. I am venturing up to the upper peninsula of Michigan. I am not too sure what I will find. I have scoped two amazing national sea shores that I would like to check out, so I imagine that is in the cards, but am afraid they might be pretty busy!

I am kind of hoping to find a spot to stay for most of the week, but want to enjoy the last moments of being solo. So if anyone knows of a spot where I can set up shop and hang for a minute with my guitar and clean water, maybe even a cabin in the woods, let me know!


Saturday, July 25, 2009

pre brief

So last night when I arrived in Minnesota I wrote a summary of my week long journey in the woods. It was wild to attempt to recap all of the things, people, and thoughts that I have intersected with along my path. This is a wild journey, and it is always so shocking to come back to reality with my feet on the ground and friends and family around me.

I have been spending so many days driving in the car, looking around me, on the country roads, feeling the towns. I cant wait to do this by bicycle! I think I will post the long detailed posting, but don’t feel obligated to pick up every detail. This post is just details, I’m waiting for the bulk of the feelings, goals, and future production to come out.

Something I didn’t mention was that yesterdays drive was spent mostly thinking about pate, I cant wait for access to a kitchen to my my apothocurious dreams come true.

Here are the details. Soon coming are some reflections.

landing on land

Well well well friends. I seem to have landed yet again, someplace warm, with a soft bed, and my feet back on the ground. I am excited for a shower, laundry, and a few days of perishable food, specifically the kind that isn’t perishing due to adequate fridgeration systems☺

Where to begin, I don’t even know. I feel like the place where I left off left so many stories untold, and here I am again, faced with the opportunity to share. I guess I should warm up at first.

So I left Bozeman and headed to Yellow Stone. It took me about an hour to reach the park. Fearing crowds, lines, and traffic, I attempted to calm myself and just flow with the park. The first stop was the boiling river. A little secret near the north part of the park where two rivers, one hot, one cold, meet and baths have been formed from rocks so that soaking is ever so delightful. This was a wonderful treat. A great opportunity to get my head back into the traveling game after a few days of city living. I spent the whole day nervous I was getting seriously ill, so I ate vegetables, meditated, and tried to be gentle with myself. A very tricky thing to do in an over populated volcano. Along one of the shorts trails I decided to venture down I met a woman named Vicky. As fate would have it, she was on her geological field study in yellow stone and was able to give me a very detailed and individual geology lesson, flavored with a little astronomy too! I am very grateful for this woman sharing so much of her time, knowledge and passion with me. I find it easiest to take in information in a one-on-one conversation.

Once I had my fill of Yellow Stone I decided to head south to the Grand Tetons hoping to find some less populated space. I ended up squatting on a camping spot with a mother and daughter duo that was on an adventure from Nevada. The daughter had spent 20 years in SF and just moved to Nevada to kick it with her mom. Needless to say we shared hours of getting to know you conversation. They took off the next day and I maintained the home land, but hit the trail. This time on bike. I did a 50 mi bike ride through the Tetons. The roads are pleasantly rolling, but I was mentally and physically out of cycling shape so it was a challenge. That evening the campground filled up again. A Swiss family who arrived late was searching for a fire to cook their banana dessert. It was a beautiful camp fire with three adorable kids playing games, eating marshmallows and shyly sharing the few words of English that they knew.

The next day I headed for the Bad Lands in South Dakota. I have fallen in love with back roads, and have begun taking my time along them. With the sunny days, comfortable window weather, and cruise control I have become quite accustomed to 10+ hours of “driving.” Driving is in parenthesis because I do plenty of stopping as well:)

I made it to Mt. Rushmore, meetting tons of people along the way, saw the site from the road (meh) and made it to a camp ground with enough time to jump into the pool (swim in body of water each day, check) and set up my tent in order to pass out from a 13+ hour driving day.

The next day I woke up and headed to the park. It was a scorching 98 degree day, and I was feeling mighty tired from my previous day’s drive. Once I finally got myself to go climb up one of the hills, I was lucky to meet two friendly Canadian travels on a similar mission, have fun without getting dehydrated. We proceeded to wander the valleys and scramble up the mountains. After a while we decided to search for submergible water and cold ice cream. Success was had. After many logistically confusions and what not I decided to hit the road to get a jump on the drive to Minneapolis the next day. I spent the night in a small park in Fort Pierre. The town right outside of the town Pierre, which is the capital of South Dakota(!) I was awoken early by the automatic sprinklers, apparently I wasn’t really in the designated camping spot. After enjoying some of my novel and waiting for my stuff to dry I hit the road with Cassidy’s house on my brain (and the pre-mentioned pate dreams). I arrived here a few hours ago and have been swimming, eating, shopping, and hanging with the family. It feels great to be in a home, to be with a family, and to be excited to see my bestie tomorrow morning!

About 1 million other things happened between then and now and tomorrow, but I can’t possibly pull them all out. Good night

Monday, July 20, 2009

This is me sometimes

Well folks, it is time. I’ve got to load up my car with all the luxuries of life I have unloaded into this house. No more bug free evenings, yogurt, or Internet for a while. I mean life on the road isn’t that bad, its not like those things aren’t hard to find. It’s actually quiet amazing how connected I can be if I want to, or how disconnected I can be if I get to!

I am headed a bit south and a bit east today, to check out Yellow Stone, then on to the Bad Lands. I will see Mt. Rushmore too. My friend has sent me on a mission to see the back room! I am slowly getting into the rhythms of travel. I tend to adapt quickly to things, but that has a 2-week expiration date, and then I have to take big steps back and adapt slowly. So I am trying to be kind to myself, adjusting to camping, solitude, and new places. I haven’t been totally committed to my goals of this trip, for example, I sure as hell do not do yoga every morning like I had hoped, but I am hanging solo, working on my guitar, and paying attention to my inner workings, to the best of my ability at least.

I have seen some very cool stuff, and interacted with some amazing people, and I bet that in the past 17 days you have too! These people and things are amazing lessons in magic. Frustrating, pleasant, or silly, it is a fun experience to have, process, and grow from! I encourage you to share you stories with me or with others. I believe we are just want to be loved and accepted and that hopefully comes through relationships, and sharing our thoughts, feelings and experiences, definitely helps form relationships, right?

I don’t know when I will be back on the internet, it probably wont be too long. I have to stop in a town soon and get an oil change, so I will probably find internet there. I will be at a friends house next weekend, and can provide you with an address if anyone wants to send anything!


Saturday, July 18, 2009

Wow, Wow, Wow

Hello wonderfuls!

Wow, Wow, Wow! I cannot even begin to describe everything that has happened and still believe that you would read to the bottom. So much. There is never nothing happening. This is true everywhere. And if anyone can name the movie/book from which this expression I quoted, you will receive a post card!

I am currently being showered, laundered (improper use of the word?), fed, connected (internet/phone style) and rested in Bozeman, Montana! Three.5 days of camping, hiking, solo exploring and EVERYTHING! I am not gunna pretend like it doesn’t nerve me to camp solo. I am ok with the solitude, I have actually enjoyed it since the west coast portion of my trip has been VERY social, but it’s amazing how much I have to trust the world that I will be kept safe. So I am getting used to that, but grateful for indoor sleeping space for the next two nights!

From here I will continue on a solo camping stint through Wyoming and south Dakota and on to Minnesota for another break from camping.

I feel like I have had a million thoughts, experiences, processes, that I wanted to share with all of you. I suppose as the evening settles in I will have more. But until then consider this a post to tell you I have made it from one big destination to another, and show you some pictures! Later I will tell you about the mud bath, music needs, and traffic thoughts!

Oh, I must tell you about my camera really quickly. I have had it for over 5 years now, and its kind of loosing its brain. The viewing screen doesn’t work, which means I have to wait till I plug into a computer to see how the shot came out. That makes for about 50% good stuff, the other 50% I don’t really post☺ I also think that sometimes when I take pictures I forget to look in the moment, so I don’t carry my camera too often. In retrospect I have often feel sad that I didn’t capture a new friend’s face, a cool camp site, or a funny sign I walked by. Alas, they are memories I will have somewhere inside of me forever.

im also posting this video, ah technology!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

And we're off!

Good morning Friends,

As I am slicing my dumpster dove bread from a Seattle bakery’s parking lot, I am struck with my inspiration for travel. I do it for the people. By choosing to leave my bed, my job, my grocery store, my community, I am forced to find short-term replacements at each location. At each stop I get to form new connections, or build from past interactions. I enjoy reflecting on each experience for its distinction from and parallel to my own life; past, present and future. I am fascinated and inspired by the challenge of creating by own momentary life by sharing the lives of those around me.

The bread struck this thought because I “scored” it with two friends (pictured above) who generously showed me their secret bread spot, after welcoming me into their home, their couch, and filling my belly with tasty food and good stories. I made a connection with both of these friends while we were volunteering in New Orleans two winters ago. I am moved by their generosity, dedication to volunteer work and joyful hearts and open minds which keep us connected through our distance.

Along my west coast travel, and part of the reason it has taken me so long to leave, I have been graced with visiting many friends, and I am a million times grateful for their willingness to connect their hearts, minds, and lives with mine. As I get ready to jump off into a little more solo time, park land, and self reflection; a million thank you’s for the beautiful conversations, awesome swims, and tasty ice creams that I have shared with you along this west coast, it will keep me coming back for more: )

Seeing all of the diversity in this world strengths my life in unimaginable ways, and I am forever grateful. I am also forever encouraging others to take a similar, but individually unique, journey as well. I secretly believe (and hope) that everyone kind of already does. That is why I share my experiences. I am motivated by the ability to prove that “it can be done.”

I hope you find your dreams in your days.

this is my buddy Ethan from the OCF he is an observationist too.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Changing plans and running late, in such a good way

Hello Friends,

Here is a quick update. If I spend too much time near the computer I will never leave the house. Some plans changed, as they always do, and I have been running late, as I tend to. I made it to Seattle yesterday by lunch time, caught up with my buddy Daniel, hashed out music theory with my buddy Michael, and had an adventure with Rae. I am pretty committed to this tent thing, and ended up setting up my house in my buddies back yard. The car is my home, and the tent is my bedroom. My bedroom stays a whole lot neater than the home because I have to break it down every day.

I might stay in Seattle till Wednesday. I think I will have plenty of time to have a solo journey across the country, through the parks I want to see, even if it is just for a few days at each park, to make it to Minnesota for the MJ dance party.

I am grateful for this time to reflect, experience, and SEE the enchantment, demons, and truth that exist here in our culture.

I am off to ride my bike around Seattle, enjoy the Honey Hole, which Natalie says is the best sandwich is Seattle, and find some woods to romp around in. Hopefully crossing paths with fun friends this evening☺ Hope this finds you well!


Saturday, July 11, 2009

This is this is amazing.

I am coming down from the festival life, amazing connections, tent sleeping high; winding into a high way driving, chill music listening, coffee shop writing mood.

Where am I, where am I coming from, where am I going? I am so glad you asked.

I am in a coffee shop in Portland, coming from the Oregon country fair, doing a few computer connections before jumping off for an adventure with my buddy Eric.

Just to catch us up to speed. On Wednesday night I ventured to a hippie Samba Ja concert in the park in Eugene. Thursday morning I went on a fantastic bike ride through Eugene to pick up my ticket to the Oregon Country Fair, an ever growing hippie festivals in the woods outside of Eugene. Once I made my hippie costumes with one of my awesome hosts of Mandy, Tony and Jessie, I headed to the fair grounds where you can pay for park/camp by the car per night, and wandered the OCF outskirts. I was serendipitously connected with a friend of a friend, Oblio who was able to connect me with the Moon Lodge, a Women’s only space at the fair. The space is located in a little alcove of tress, and is beautifully decorated each year with couches, pillows, flags, and love! I worked there on and off throughout the day on Friday. I also wandered the streets of the Fair, met up with old and new friends, and took it all in. The experience was full of lessons, adaptations and enchantment.

The Fair closes to the general public at 7 30 pm. It is my personal goal to go back and be a part of the night life there, because I will be forever curious and envious otherwise. On my way out for the evening I spotted a backpacker wandering the pathways as aimlessly as I was. I offered him space on my 20’X20’ camp site on an impulse. We ended up sharing dinner, stories, dreams, a fire opera, and a wonderful 12 hour (and probably future) friendship. I am forever grateful for the wonderful conversations we had!

So I departed this morning for Portland, picked up a random craig’s lister along the way, and am just ramping up energy to meet up with my buddy Eric. Eric and I connected two years ago when I was in Portland visiting friends and family. We chatted life, swam in the rivers of Washington, and even made fleeting plans of a birthright adventure together. I am excited to share a hug, bike ride, and picnic with him soon!

From here I will travel north to meet up with some friends who was doing the STP (the Seattle to Portland 2-day bike ride) and make my way to Seattle for a reunion with both California and Ohio friends! After that I am headed East, I swear!

I hope this finds you well.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Craigs list Ad

Going east via national parks (glacier, yellowstone, etc)

Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-07-09, 9:07AM PDT

hello fellow travelers!

I am on an adventure and i have room in my car for another person and some stuff. I am departing seattle on monday or tuesday (13th or 14th) and heading east.

destinations are as follows, and are somewhat negotiable. glacier, missoula, bozeman, yellowstone, grand tetons, center for the pole, rushmore, badlands, iowa rag brag, minnesota by the 24th. it will be a 10 day whirewind, and i might drop some of those destinations depending on how things go. i will be camping or couch surfing along the way.

heres a little bio:

i am a 25 year old queer female. im strong, independent, and very DYI. i camp, i cook my own food, i carry my own meals/snacks. i love to ride my bike, i work with kids, and i love to get to know people who i can relate with (mostly travel with women or gentle men), who are into things i am into. that may sound limiting, but i am interested in a lot of things and i see many things in many things. i am interested in health, awareness, bicycles, adventures, gratitude, the human experience, sociology, queer stuff, laughing, camp games and songs, stretching, good music, community, instruments, and many other things. So if you want to jump on my adventure from seattle, thats easy, shoot me an e mail, we will hang out and see if we can get along for a few days, if you want a ride any where along the way, it might be a little more complicated because i dont know when i will be where, but if there is a place i can throw down my tent, i will probably head your way.

434 825 2890

ps, you can check out my blog to see if you wanna hang out with me.

  • Location: glacier, yellowstone, etc
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
image 1261240968-0


So much to say and I just posted this morning. Man oh man what a day I had! And it only started at noon. I went for a bike adventure with two thirds of the family I am staying with. One mom, Mandy, and the 10 year old son, Tony, and I toured the amazingly flat, bike friendly, and sunny city of Eugene. We hit up the community bike shop, the used book stores, and the same hippie restaurant I enjoyed for dinner last night! This is such a crazy hippie town!

After that I headed out on my own, picking up a book on free camping all over the western 17 states, wandering miles and miles of bike paths throughout the city, and catching up with a few friends via telephone. I also caught a sunset park concert with Samba Ja. At first I was shy to dance solo, then I was so empowered by it. And the Samba was powerful!

It’s been a while since I’ve had my alone time. Ironically it was something I was most nervous about when planning the trip, and something I was craving this am. I sure did enjoy the comfortable company of a dear friend while Kendra was with me, but am ready for the self I must face now that I am making my decisions on my own. Luckily, the world is still opening to me, and I am finding exactly what I desire, imagine, and need.

My goals have been transformed, and it looks like I will be experiencing the Oregon Country fair to the best of my ability, swimming in a river with my buddy in Portland, supporting my friends doing the STP (Seattle to Portland) bicycle ride, and venturing to Seattle to meet up with old friends, new friends, and traveling friends! Then, I swear, I will leave this coast and find my self in the woods, in the parks, and in the car, so I can kick it with Cassidy and Ben in Minnesota, and dance to MJ with Lea, nugget, and family! Wooohoooo. Onward, Talley hoe. I am so grateful for this opportunity, and am grateful to have your support along the way.


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Adventures with Capes

Hellllo Wonderfuls,

I am writing this posting still stuffed into my sleeping bag, lounging on a double stuffed air mattress. After 5 nights of “tenting it” by rivers and trees, this is a nice treat! I’ve been gone for less than a week and already there is so much to share, reflect and process.

My city slicker friend has been my partner in crime since city departure on July 2nd. We supported each other through the pealing away from cell phones and dance parties, and the introduction of bug bites and car life. I dropped her off at the airport in Eugene, OR this morning, and now I will attempt to verbally sum up our adventure…

Kendra and I had two main goals on our journey, three if you count “getting along” as the third. The first (and successful) goal was daily FBS (full body submergence) into rivers or other fun bodies of water. The second, less successful, yet fun, goal was to consume ice cream each day. I will describe our story based around these experiences.

We arrived on Laguna Farms on Thursday evening to find our wonderful farm friends hanging out in the Yurt, after a tasty dinner, some good conversation and a fun visit to the free box (pictures to come of course) we enjoyed a comfy futon, knowing tent life was on its way. The next morning we had breakfast with a bundle of beautiful women, some of my heart family from Ohio who has also migrated to the west coast. We grazed my friend Graham’s farm for fresh veggies for our journey, and visited with some kids on farm camp. From there we made our way north, enjoying the sights, the towns, and the people of the west coast. We stopped at few places along the way, once of which being Ukiah. It was super hot as we walked by a desolate Economy Inn with a pool. I thought our luck was better to ask, so we asked the check in guy if we could swim. He said sure. Our first mission of the day was complete, now on to ice cream. We picked up some delicious coconut bliss ice cream and continued north to the campground of Standish Hicky. Where Kendra conveniently ran into some friends who were bike touring the coast. They serendipitously had made reservations for a car camping spot that evening, but their friend with a car was unable to attend. We lucked out hard core.

After camping with some friends, having pancakes with the neighbors and a photo shoot with our new costume from the free box, we headed to Eel River where we would check off our FBS goal of the day. It was pristine and magical, and gave us energy for the drive a head. Our next destination was a beautiful farm a few minutes south of Arcata. A friend was hosting a large house warming party on his new property (conveniently on a river!). We enjoyed friends, played camp games, and ate delicious, local delicacies. The potluck was amazing, and we accomplished our second goal by indulging in goat milk ice cream made with duck eggs. Of man I wanted to melt right there.

The next day we swam and ate more deliciousness, including the goat milk ice cream, just to keep things rolling, and continued north through the red woods.

We drove through beautiful landscapes and found an amazing camp spot, in the national forest, so it was free and secluded, on the Smith River! We set up shop, cooked dinner, had a nice fire, and played music. The next morning we enjoyed a dip and headed north and east to Crater Lake. Still acclimating to life in the “wild,” the bugs were pretty bad there, I was still nursing itchies from Standish Hicky, and now am double scratching, but it was worth it. The lake is beautiful, pristine, and massive!

We contemplated a swim, but it was pretty cold outside, so we committed to finding a swimming hole along the way to Eugene. We found a random lake along our drive, jumped in and carried on our way. We arrived in Eugene, showered, hung out with some friends we would be staying with for the night, and then hit the town by bike. Oh it felt good to be back on my bike! We enjoyed a tasty dinner and explored the beautiful streets lined with cute bungalows and trees and day dreamed about what its like to live with space around you.

As I said earlier I dropped Kendra off this morning. It’s not clear where I will be going from here. Many things are calling my name. At first I said I was going to skip Seattle and headed east immediately, but now that I have gotten this far, I’m getting pretty curious about what I might find up there, but am not sure how to manage my time. I am committed to arrive in Minnesota on the 24th, so that leaves me with 16 days and a lot of dreams: Glacier, Yellowstone, Grand Tetons, Rushmore, and Badlands, Ashland, Oregon Country Fair, Seattle, Bozeman, Missoula, bike trips in Iowa. I just don’t know how to do it all, and I am becoming unattached to my original goal for a relaxed trip across the country.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

ps does anyone know anyone is Boise?
Hello Friends,

I have been really excited about this Blogging adventure combined with my access to a working computer and internet! This is new for me, most adventures in the past were with slow computer, lack of organization, or nothing electronic! Well I have had this past week “free” to prepare. As I mentioned in my last post I have been scrambling to find sublet, fix bike, take care of tasks around house, etc. What I haven’t mentioned is all the internal stuff I have had to deal with. Ironically, all of the stress I have experience from the last minute uncertainty, has actually served to “distract” me from my deepest of fears and stresses. Now that I am completing things on my To Do list, I am facing them. Once Kendra leaves on Wednesday, July 8th, I will be traveling “alone” until the 24th. Now no one is ever really alone, if there aren’t people, there are trees and squires, and the inner dialog. And that’s why I am doing this, I want to spend time with my inner dialog. My fear for this journey is being much louder than my internal voice. I hear so many horror stories about travelers who are taken advantage of, abused, stolen from, and I am so afraid that that will happen to me. Part of me fears being a woman who sticks out, gender queer, independent, coming from San Francisco, etc. I fear that people do no like that in different parts of this country. I am terribly afraid I will be that story no one, but everyone, wants to hear. I’m kind of afraid my fear will become reality if I don’t release it, deal with it (love it) and walk with confidence. I aim to project more positive intention without building heavy expectations. As I am processing this fear, its roots, its meaning, and trying to break it down with my experience of good, abundance and communal support, I am finding more layers of fear that I associate with independence. The next fear that comes up is the idea that each decision I make on this trip is my own. In my last big America trip each decision was shared with my tribe. For two months, Eric and I were a team, then Wormz, Eric, and I were the deciding team for 2.5 more months. If some thing went wrong, we were all in it together. Now if some thing goes wrong, it’s on me. I’m the deciding factor. Man that’s a lot of responsibility. It’s ironic really. I am leaving the city because the responsibility of job day in and day out, rent, social functions, all of that, has been feeling heavy. But I am leaving it for what currently feels like a much heavier decision making experience.

Thankfully my roommate has reminded me that i am A. capable and good and B. those stories i am afraid of are a very small percentage of the actual experiences people have.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


It's back to all good. I found a sub-leaser, I fixed my bike, it fits in my car, I organized some stuff, and I have another day to finish the last bit of work, packing, organizing, and randomness that I would like to complete for the next two months! Here I come world. thanks to ALL of you who have helped me get here!

Tomorrow evening my friend Kendra and I will hit the road and hopefully make it to Sebastopol by sunset to visit with old and new friends!


Tuesday, June 30, 2009

whats up universe

So I have to keep reminding myself that the universe always sends me a little challenge before I head off, or right at the beginning on my trip, to make sure I really want to go. Well, this one sure is a big one. I am having trouble finding a Sublette for my apt, leaving me responsible for $ 1000 of rent, my bike needs $200+ of work (and $200+ of work that I am ignoring until I return or desperately need it) and some of the camping/bike touring equipment I need for this trip is HELLA expensive. But I guess this is why I saved my money all year. I am waiting for the universe to remind me that everything is connected and its all goooood.

I am leaving this city on Thursday whether I am ready to go or not, but I would sure like to get a few more things done!

Anyway, in between running all over town to find specific (and expensive) bike parts, doing a million internet things and sublette things, I have been doodling around with map quest, here is my intended route. I don’t have Missoula on there, but I have friends there I would like to see, so I am gunna see how things go.

Monday, June 29, 2009

The First Intention

The First Intention

Many experiences in this world can be seen as journeys. Often sitting still for 5 minutes is a journey, a trip to the super market, especially in this city, can be a journey of its own, a story we hear is often a journey-like experience, and the most common journey is the one we set out on with great intention, physical separation from the regular, and as opportunity for exploration, experimentation, and the culmination of everything that is everything.

I am about to set out on a journey that transforms location, responsibility, and experience. Far too often in this city, I compromise my wants, needs, and experiences in order to flow with the breaths of a landscape of beautiful, fun, busy people. In that I ignore the low murmur of a tired body, a sad soul, or a frightened child wanting to be held and nurtured. As I do my best to visit with all of those things, I am still distracted by those that look like me, the temptations of abundance and indulgence.

As I depart this concrete jungle, laced with trees and parks, filled with eyes and souls, I aim for nature, natural, loud murmurs usually un heard. In the past when I have left (or gone) with this intention, I have often met negativity, pain, loneliness, the desire to run. This time, as is true with each new time, I hope to be more accustomed to my own needs, fears, and habits, so that I can greet each feeling of struggle with the nurturing I need in the city. To develop that self care that seems only possible when I view myself as myself, instead of an entity of one community.

I set this intention 2 weeks before departure. Without any idea of what I am about to face. This time, unlike all other times (maybe?) I have set up comforts for myself that I have not previously allowed myself. Often I would do things that made me feel comfortable but would do them with guilt and rush. This time, I will do them with acceptance. Hotels, internet, resting time, yoga, self-love, relaxation when necessary. I will do these things with love and acceptance. Instead of just rushing to the part that is different from my life right now.

In my recent past I have been laced with sadness and loneliness in places full of friends, literally full of my friends, people I have been able to connect with, remember and greet on the street. So why this continual loneliness, what am I missing? What is not calling to me? What am I not calling to? On this quest I hope to spend more time with the inner voice, to discover what I need in order to develop myself into happiness and strength. So, my goal, amongst other things is to fulfill my curiosities, my relationships, and my SELF with wholeness.

The First Request

Hey friends,

To those of you who never got the ALC update, I apologize, to those of you whom have already heard it, keep on scrolling to the next paragraph. The fundraiser at El Rio was a huge success, and I couldn’t have done it without you, the folks who came out, the wonderful friends who donated so much of their time and resources, and the performers, Thank you. The money raised went to a great cause, and the ride was a phenomenal experience. I have continued to find my passion for cycling, and it only gets better to do with a huge community working for a great cause!

I am headed out of SF for an adventure across country for the next two months. Unfortunately my sublet that I had lined up for the next two months bailed on me on Saturday and I am trying to leave town on Thursday, July 2nd. I’m scrambling to get a ton of things done before my adventure so this is a call to all of you, my family, friends, and community to see if you can help me with any of these things. If you cant, not a single worry, it just seems to make since to ask before I go, here's what I am looking for in life over the next week:

A Sublette (or collection of Sublette’s, I have one person who needs it just for the month of July, and someone else who just needs it for July 15-Aug15, so filling in some of the gaps) to cover my rent of 1030 from July 2-aug 31st.

A camping stove (either car or back packing or both), or any other kitchen camping supplies

Bike touring stuff, panniers, racks, tools, and a tune up. (I am planning on bike touring the big national parks in between here and Virginia!)

Info: anything, any free camping(blm land), any one, any adventure you know about anywhere between here and Virginia (via the northern route). During my journey I will be studying bike touring, health, communication, music, culture, rivers, and solitude. I can’t wait, but also have lots of nerves too:) check out my blog for more details on where I am headed!

Smiles, safe travel wishes, and random phone calls while I am away to remember how awesome my community is:)

I know I am embarking on a journey of great privilege, and so I'm grateful for these challenges that remind me that if my biggest worries are finding a sub-letter and a camping stove so I can tour the country, I'm doing ok. I also fully believe that everything will work out fine, but gotta ask for help when I need it.

I will attempt to keep a blog while I journey, a personal collection of thoughts and experiences often painted with words of feelings and emotions. In the past I have sent out regular e mail that includes my blog like updates, I’m hesitant to use the same e mail list from years ago, so I will gladly create a new one, or just direct you to my most recent blog, my postings are never simply a statement, always a conversation or question. I hope you all enjoy. I go with the intention of self-discovery, facing the demons inside of myself, and proving a personal philosophy that "it can be done."

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


this is just the beginning