Friday, May 28, 2010

blogging is the new journal

As I sit in my isle seat, zone 4, of the airplane that will take me clear across the country and then to the “middle,” I gaze at my desktop as I wait for word to open. My desktop is littered with an assortment of photos that have recently come into circulation. A diverse collection of memories from past adventures, silly college photos, and an array of bicycle shots that accompanied a recent blog feature I did on women who bike. Perhaps I will include some of these random photos with this next blog posting. The feelings that are stirred up through these visuals are unique beyond words.

I have begun my decent into the warm pool on a cool summer day. Instead of my usual behavior of jumping in and catching my breath later, this time I creep in. In my dedication to seasonal employment, keeping the school schedule alive, I find myself on the cusp of completion and reflection. What have I completed? I am so glad you asked. This year I started my own business, shared committed and communicative relationships, and worked with the YBike program to get kids riding bikes safely in the streets of San Francisco. I did really cool work this year. But I can’t ignore what happened last summer. I found freedom, self-reliance, and a spark for more. I find myself back here again. I am on the edge of adventure, departing from paradise to pursue such great unknown.

All spring I found myself restless from the unrelenting winter. I took on a lot of responsibility, risk, and stress this year. Stress, which I am morally against, took a nibble on my soul. If it’s not fun, why do it? Can you have responsibility and risk without it? I started asking big questions, but instead of answering them, I daydreamed. I daydreamed about the ways I want to live simply, on my bicycle, within nature, and in peace. I also dreamed of ways I can live within the densely populated environment and still hold onto my values of natural space, simplicity, and spontaneity. The goals of this summer adventure are based on that curiosity. I will fulfill my daydreams through action. A number of things could come from this. I may dissolve the illusion of daydreams by living them. I may change my city behavior based on what is learned and loved in this adventure. I may decide to continue more fully towards this daydream. Perhaps, and more likely, something completely out of the ordinary and unexpected will happen. The world may never know, but soon I will.

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